Some people love air travel. I, however, am not one of those people. It really adds some struggle to my life, because I love to travel and see new places but most of the time I have to take an airplane to get to those places! I’ve never let it get in my way and stop me from traveling, but it sure is an inconvenience. One thing that makes air travel even worse? Lousy seatmates. The following is a list I’ve composed, from many years of plane rides, of people you don’t want to be sitting beside on the plane.
The fat guy, obviously. It’s not that I don’t feel sorry for this person. I do. It must be an embarrassing and uncomfortable experience for them. However, it’s uncomfortable and no fun to be the person sitting next to them either.
The chatty nana. There’s nothing worse than someone who wants to spend the whole 6 hour flight asking about every tiny detail of your life when all you want to do is put in your headphones, close your eyes, and zone out.
The boy who won’t stop drinking beers. Dealing with drunk people isn’t fun at the best of times. Add a small, enclosed space from which you can’t escape and you have a nightmare.
The person by the window who constantly has to go to the bathroom. You were so happy to score your aisle seat… Until you had to get up every twenty minutes so that the person sitting by the window could pee.
Alternately, the person on the aisle who never goes to the bathroom. Now you’re the one who’s forcing someone out of their seat so you can get up. Cue the guilt.
The nervous flyer. This is tricky because you feel as if it’s your duty to talk your new friend through their fear, while simultaneously wishing they’d stop hyperventilating so that you can get back to the in-flight movie.
The hot silent guy/girl. All you want is for your attractive seatmate to strike up a conversation so that they can see how witty/hilarious/desirable you are, but they seem totally focused on their book/movie/silent meditation…
The new mom&baby. If anyone is enjoying this situation less than you, it’s the screaming child’s poor mother, who just wants a nap and can’t seem to calm their baby down. You almost want to offer to help, because the exhausted woman seems to be on the verge of tears as well.
The coughing woman. You just know that you’re going to start your vacation with a terrible flu and hacking cough, all thanks to your generous seatmate sharing their germs.
The business man who takes up all the space. This guy seems to think the plane is his office, and has spread out his laptop/newspaper/cellphone charger/folders/documents accordingly — all over his seat, your seat and, let’s be honest, probably the woman in front of you’s seat as well.
If you’re lucky, you won’t end up sandwiched between two of these people. Sometimes all you can do is grin and bear it — soon it’ll just be a hilarious story…once you’re off the plane and far, far away from your seatmate.